Tim Gunn, the beloved fashion expert and former judge on the hit reality series Project Runway, recently shared a deeply personal revelation about his romantic life. During a candid conversation on Chelsea Handler's podcast, "Dear Chelsea," the 72-year-old television personality disclosed that he has been celibate for 43 years following a devastating breakup with a former partner who had been unfaithful throughout their relationship.
The Heartbreaking Discovery
Gunn described his relationship with his ex-partner as a serious nine-year commitment while living in Washington, D.C. He spoke with raw emotion about the night everything fell apart, a memory that has clearly stayed with him for decades. According to Gunn, the couple was in bed watching the classic television show M*A*S*H when his partner suddenly delivered a crushing blow.
"I have no patience for you any longer. I want you to leave," his partner told him, according to Gunn's recollection.
The abrupt dismissal left Gunn reeling. Though he maintained his own apartment, he had been living with his partner for years. He drove away that night, but the emotional weight of the moment proved overwhelming. Gunn recalled having to pull over on Rock Creek Parkway because he was hyperventilating, consumed by a torrent of self-flagellation and self-pity.
The situation became even more painful when additional details emerged. Gunn discovered that his partner had been unfaithful throughout their relationship. What made this revelation particularly devastating was that Gunn had remained completely loyal and faithful, and his partner had been his only intimate relationship.
"One of the things that he told me that night was that he'd been sleeping with just about everything that walked by, and I had been loyal and faithful to him," Gunn explained. "He was the only person I'd ever been with."
The HIV Scare That Changed Everything
The betrayal triggered an intense emotional transformation in Gunn. His initial self-pity quickly evolved into what he described as "completely unbridled anger." The primary source of his fury stemmed from a terrifying health concern: the possibility that his partner's infidelity might have exposed him to HIV.
Gunn's fear was rooted in the reality of the era. The relationship ended decades ago, during a time when HIV/AIDS was less understood and far more stigmatized. The thought that his partner's reckless behavior could have given him what he called "a death sentence" haunted him for years.
"I thought he may have given me a death sentence," Gunn stated frankly. "Of course, I was tested every six months for 10 years for HIV and thankfully I had a clean slate."
Despite receiving negative test results consistently, the psychological trauma had already taken root. The experience created a powerful association between intimacy and potential danger, betrayal, and emotional devastation.
The Path to Celibacy
Gunn explained that this traumatic experience fundamentally altered his relationship with intimacy. Whenever he felt tempted to pursue something serious with another person, the memories would flood back with overwhelming force.
"Whenever I was even tempted to engage in something that could become serious with someone, all this would come back like Niagara Falls, and it would just take the desire away," he shared.
What began as a protective mechanism eventually became a lifestyle choice. Gunn acknowledged that transitioning to celibacy and becoming "someone who lives alone" required "a bit of an adjustment" initially. However, over the decades, he has come to embrace his solitary life completely.
"Now I wouldn't have it any other way," Gunn affirmed, indicating that he has found peace and contentment in his chosen path.
Reflections on Career and Rejection
During the same podcast episode, Gunn also addressed another professional disappointment: not being invited to participate in the Project Runway reboot. The fashion icon admitted that the rejection felt "devastating at first," particularly given his long-standing association with the franchise.
However, Gunn has adopted a philosophical perspective on the matter. He expressed belief that "things happen for a reason," and emphasized gratitude for his extensive run with the show. Gunn participated in 19 seasons of Project Runway, including 16 alongside supermodel Heidi Klum.
His partnership with Klum continues today through their collaborative work on the Amazon Prime Video series "Making the Cut," where they both serve as executive producers and stars. This new venture represents an evolution in their professional relationship and demonstrates Gunn's resilience in the face of professional setbacks.
Understanding the Impact of Relationship Trauma
Gunn's story illuminates the profound and lasting impact that relationship trauma can have on an individual's life choices. His experience demonstrates how a single devastating betrayal can reshape one's entire approach to intimacy and connection. The fear of repeated pain, combined with the genuine health scare he endured, created a psychological barrier that proved insurmountable for more than four decades.
Mental health professionals often note that trauma responses can manifest in various ways, including avoidance behaviors. Gunn's celibacy appears to have originated as a protective mechanism that eventually transformed into a comfortable lifestyle choice. His story serves as a powerful reminder that healing is not linear and that individuals must find their own paths to peace.
A Life Redefined
At 72, Tim Gunn has built a successful career, maintained a decades-long professional partnership with Heidi Klum, and cultivated a life that brings him satisfaction. While his path to celibacy was born from pain, he has clearly found a way to transform that experience into a life he values.
His openness about such a personal topic provides insight into the complexities of human relationships and the diverse ways people navigate heartbreak, betrayal, and healing. Gunn's story resonates not because it's common, but because it highlights the deeply personal nature of recovery and the validity of choosing a life outside conventional expectations.
The fashion icon's willingness to share his story publicly may offer comfort to others who have experienced similar traumas, showing that it's possible to build a fulfilling life even after profound disappointment. His journey from heartbreak to contentment demonstrates resilience and the power of self-acceptance.