Jesse Kortuem, a former hockey player who never competed in the NHL, has publicly come out as gay in a heartfelt Facebook post, crediting the romance novel "Heated Rivalry" and a supportive LGBTQ+ hockey community for giving him courage to embrace his authentic self after decades of concealment.
The January 13 announcement represents a profound personal milestone for Kortuem, who grew up immersed in Minnesota's hockey culture as the youngest of four boys. In his post, he specifically thanked The Cutting Edges, a 2SLGBTQIA+ hockey association, for providing an experience he described as "a bridge being built over a gap I had lived with for decades."
The Burden of Silence
For Kortuem, the path to self-acceptance was marked by persistent fear and internal conflict. From his early teenage years, he sensed a fundamental disconnect between his emerging identity and the hyper-masculine world of competitive hockey.
"As a young teenager, I carried a weight that did not seem to fit into that world, and I lived in a constant state of dichotomy," he wrote. "I loved the game, but I lived with a persistent fear. I wondered how I could be gay and still play such a tough and masculine sport."
This internal struggle was amplified by the cultural landscape of the 2000s, when Kortuem was in high school. With virtually no positive LGBTQ+ representation in professional sports and widespread homophobia in locker rooms, the prospect of coming out seemed catastrophic. Kortuem frankly admitted that doing so during his high school years would have been a "social disaster".
The absence of visible role models created a vacuum of possibility. Without examples of successful, out gay athletes in hockey, Kortuem concluded his identity and sport were incompatible. The weight of concealment eventually became unbearable, forcing him to make the heartbreaking decision to walk away from his high school team—a choice countless LGBTQ+ athletes face when forced to choose between sport and truth.
Living in Compartments
Even after relocating to major metropolitan areas like New York and Atlanta as an adult, Kortuem found himself trapped in a cycle of partial authenticity. While he lived openly with friends, the locker room remained a space of silence.
"I spent every week in a locker room with guys I respected, yet I still did not feel safe enough to tell them who I truly was," he confessed.
His fears extended beyond personal rejection. Kortuem worried about becoming a distraction for his team, being tokenized as "the gay player," and bringing negative attention to the organization. This highlights a critical barrier to LGBTQ+ inclusion: even when teammates may be personally supportive, institutional culture can create an environment where athletes feel visibility is a liability rather than an asset.
A Tournament Changes Everything
The catalyst for transformation arrived in 2017 when Kortuem confronted a stark choice: quit hockey entirely or find a way to play as his authentic self. He decided to register for the Sin City Classic, an annual gay hockey tournament in Las Vegas.
The experience proved revolutionary. Surrounded by other LGBTQ+ players, Kortuem experienced what he called a "paradigm shift". For the first time, he witnessed a model of hockey where identity and athletics coexisted harmoniously.
"Life has never been the same" since that tournament, Kortuem wrote. The friendships he forged became the foundation for his ongoing journey toward wholeness.
The Power of Representation
In his post, Kortuem specifically credited "Heated Rivalry", a hockey romance novel, with helping spark his decision to go public. As a "private person," the book provided representation that resonated deeply.
The significance of this literary catalyst cannot be overstated. For LGBTQ+ athletes who grew up without visible role models, fiction has often served as the first window into possibilities for authentic living. The novel's portrayal of a relationship between two male hockey players offered Kortuem a vision of compatibility between his identity and sport that real-world examples had failed to provide.
Building Bridges
Kortuem's recent weekend with The Cutting Edges appears to have been the final piece in his journey. Wearing the organization's jersey represented the integration of his athletic identity with his community membership.
"Wearing your jersey that represents both my sport and my community, felt like a bridge being built over a gap I had lived with for decades," he wrote.
This metaphor captures what LGBTQ+ sports organizations accomplish: creating spaces where athletes can bring their whole selves, healing the fracture between personal identity and athletic passion.
An Ongoing Process
Perhaps most powerfully, Kortuem's honesty about continuing struggles gives his story authenticity. He acknowledged he's "still working on today" to move past his "closeted athlete persona", reminding us that coming out is an ongoing process.
"It has been a long, vulnerable road to move past the closeted athlete persona and find actual peace," he shared.
This vulnerability offers a realistic model for life after the closet. By admitting healing isn't linear, Kortuem provides a roadmap that acknowledges both progress and persistent challenges.
Cultural Implications
Kortuem's narrative shines light on persistent issues within hockey culture. The sport has long been associated with traditional masculinity, and its highest professional levels remain overwhelmingly devoid of openly LGBTQ+ players.
The NHL has yet to see an openly gay active player. This vacuum of representation perpetuates fears that led teenage Kortuem to abandon his team and adult Kortuem to remain silent.
His story serves as both indictment and inspiration—indictment of a culture that still makes athletes feel unsafe, and inspiration through his demonstration that community-led solutions create meaningful change.
A Call to Action
By sharing his story, Kortuem extends a lifeline to others experiencing similar struggles. He demonstrates it's possible to return to a sport after years of separation and live authentically after years of concealment.
His narrative is also a call to action for hockey organizations. Creating inclusive environments requires more than non-discrimination policies; it demands active culture change and visible allyship.
Conclusion
Jesse Kortuem's journey from fearful teenager to out gay man celebrating his identity within hockey exemplifies the transformative power of community, representation, and courage. His story reminds us the path to inclusion is paved with personal narratives that humanize struggle and celebrate triumph.
As more athletes share authentic stories, the gap between sports and LGBTQ+ identity narrows. His experience offers hope and a practical roadmap: find community, embrace representation, and remember it's never too late to stop hiding.
For hockey, Kortuem's voice adds to growing demand for a culture where no player chooses between sport and self. His story testifies to what's possible when we build bridges instead of walls, reminding us the most important victories happen not on the ice, but in hearts that finally feel free.